I learned to value only that which truly activates what is in my heart. I came to value those experiences which activate my heart as it really is. I sought, more and more, only those experiences which have the capacity, the depth, to activate the feeling that is my real feeling, in my true childish heart. And I learned, slowly, to make things which are of that nature. -Christopher Alexander

Design with Soul

I had the quote above saved in the draft of this blog post for months. It clearly captured my attention at one point enough to copy and paste it for later use. It makes me think back to a time in my life, when my kids were young, that I finally realized I had to actively seek out what made my heart happy, what activated my soul, and what sparked joy in my life. There wasn’t a real sense of unhappiness per say, but for those of you who have had small children yourself, you know the constant chaos and worry that comes with the little bundles of joy can occupy all of your attention. It was in that season of life that I took the proper steps to revamping the way I led our everyday lives. And that started within the walls of our home.

My design style today doesn’t reflect a life of minimalism the way it did in those times (I’ve filled in the once sparse spaces with decor that I love), but I wouldn’t be the same person today if I didn’t go through a phase in my life where minimalism played a huge role. The time that I spent decluttering —aka throwing crap in the garbage, or the donation bin, did more than just get my house in tip top shape. Unexpectedly, it cleaned out the mental and emotional baggage that I had never made time for properly sorting and discarding. I’m so thankful for undergoing that process when I did. It truly was and is a life changing experience to get a grip on what the true meaning of home means to you.

The Why of Designing with Soul

I got started in this business because I wanted to help others create a home that TRULY represented how they wanted their daily life to work, how they wanted to find peace and relaxation, how their home should feel and look based upon what THEY wanted it to look and feel like not what a trend told them it should. I wanted to help people cut out the excess to make room for the real stuff. The real life stuff.

For some reason, the entire month of November this “feeling” was so heavy on my mind. This reset I had undergone in so many areas of my life, was many years ago at this point, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I wondered if what I’m doing in my business now really is serving clients in the way I had originally intended. How could I improve? I think it’s common designer lingo, to talk about how important the aesthetic of your home is to your well-being, but how many of them really mean that vs. just trying to land the job? How many of them have actually experienced it and really know how it feels in your soul? How many of them are striving for more than just a pretty picture? How can a designer provide a client with a design that IS both a beautiful design worth showing off and still completely and totally 100% functional to the clients desires first?

The How of Designing with Soul

To answer all of the questions I would say:

• Is my business still serving clients in the way I originally intended?

  It is still my goal to help create spaces that are truly life changing to the client, but I also have to be their teacher. If I feel that something they are requesting might be a wrong choice or a bad direction, I have the experience and long-term goal in mind to try to guide them back to what I think would work best. If ultimately the heart wants what the heart wants, I also understand that it is THEIR home, and these decisions will be ones they will live with. If that’s what ultimately brings them happiness, who am I to stand in their way?

• How could it improve?

  The area that I could improve on is our initial consultation. In the last year I worked with a business coach (specifically for interior designers) and HOLY MOLY it was a game changer for my business policies and systems. I’ve got that down to an art, but aside from being all business, I’d like to know my clients a little better. We do end up spending a lot of time together from start to finish, so let’s get more personal. Let’s dig further into the why you are looking for a designer. I NEED to know what you want your home to look like, but I WANT to know what you want your life to look like too. I’ll bet I can get the two to marry perfectly.

• Do I really mean that?

  Go back to the beginning of this post. I told you how much it meant to me to get honest with the way my house was serving our family. Getting real with the stuff that I had in my home affected me in every possible way including in personal relationships. Cutting ties with things that didn’t provide use or joy for myself or my family opened up my eyes to other emotional things that I had needed to sit by the curb for ages. I believe every single person would benefit from taking inventory of their undignified hoardings.

• Am I just looking for a pretty picture?

  There are two things that run my business. Pretty pictures and referrals. If I can design something so beautiful that it lands me a beautiful set of photographs, that’s one way of getting a testimony. Imagine though if that beautiful room was also a place where we sorted through real emotions in regard to your home, your life, and your dreams. Imagine that through the process of the design, you were able to heal old wounds, set healthy boundaries, start a new and exciting life plan. Wow, now that would speak volumes.

• Can I design something that is both personal and beautiful?

  I am known to have pretty strong opinions I’ll admit. I hope that in my relationship with my clients I can communicate why I have made the selections in a way that is well, convincing. When I have a programming meeting with a client, I listen intently to what they want, what they are telling me about what they find beautiful, what they feel they really need, and I work so hard to find those exact things. It’s not uncommon for a piece that I find to give a client pause. As one client said to me, “I tried to imagine what I thought you’d present to me; I had one thing in my head, and this wasn’t it. It’s so much better. I couldn’t have done this.” I love that feeling when I surprise clients in a good way, and it brings me so much encouragement when they go for it. They embrace my ideas. It is such a happy working relationship when I can take what someone needs/wants and make it 1000 times better than they ever imagined while still providing the true desire the client had.

How can we design a room that changes my life too?

If you’d like to know more about how my design services can help you in the ways you hadn’t even considered, schedule a free discovery call and let’s chat.